Pilot On The Intercom

As an airplane is taking off and is gaining altitude, the pilot comes on the intercom:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Thank you for choosing American Airlines. We are on our way to Miami and will reach cruisi….. FU***NG SH***T!! god FU***NG DVMN IT!!! WHAT THE FVCK!!!”

For a moment, there as an eerie silence in the cabin. Then the pilot comes back on: “I do apologize, but our new stewardess spilled hot coffee on my lap. You should have seen my pants from the front.”

A passenger in the cabin says, “You should have seen my pants from the back.”