A wife woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed.

She got out of bed and checked around the house.

She heard sobbing from the basement.

After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up in the corner, of the basement,… crying like a baby.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”, she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much.

“Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant and your father threatened me to either marry you or to go to jail?”

“Yes, of course,” she replied.

“Well, I would have been released from jail this afternoon!”

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”

The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?”

The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?”

The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”

“Johnny” says the teacher, “what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”

“He takes a sh*t, sir,” says Johnny.

“Oh,” says the teacher, trying to hide a smile, “and what does your father do for a living?”

Johnny, not one to hold back, replies with an innocent grin, “He’s a plumber, sir.”

The classroom erupts into laughter as the teacher struggles to maintain composure. Johnny’s candid response has brought a sense of humor to the otherwise mundane morning routine discussion.

From that day on, Johnny becomes known as the class comedian. His quick wit and humorous take on everyday situations keep his classmates entertained, even during the dullest of lessons. The teacher learns to appreciate Johnny’s lightheartedness and encourages him to use his sense of humor wisely.

As Johnny grows older, he never loses his knack for making people laugh. He becomes a successful stand-up comedian, known for his sharp wit and his ability to find humor in the ordinary. His career takes him to stages around the world, where he continues to bring joy to audiences.

But Johnny’s humor is not limited to the stage. He also uses it to brighten the lives of those around him. He visits children’s hospitals, using his jokes to make young patients smile. He hosts charity events, raising funds to help those in need. His ability to find humor in life’s challenges inspires others to do the same.

Johnny’s legacy extends beyond comedy. He leaves a mark on the world as someone who reminded people that laughter can be a powerful force, capable of easing pain, bringing joy, and connecting us all.

And so, the little boy who once made his teacher laugh with a simple, candid answer grows up to be a man who spreads laughter and happiness to everyone he meets.

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”

The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.”

Two days later she asks her father the same question.

The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed.”

The confused girl returns to her mother and says,

“Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God, and Papa says they were developed from monkeys.”

The mother answers, “Well dear, it’s very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, while your father told you about his side.”

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better and to help with their spelling.

She explained:

“I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today.”

The first student raised her hand to volunteer.

Marcy,” the teacher said. “You may go first.”

Marcy replied:

“My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny.”

The teacher said:

“Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?”

Kevin stood up and announced:

“My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie.”

“Very good,” the teacher told Kevin.

Jeff was next, and he said:

My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no…”

Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while.

When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.

Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher.

The teacher called on little Johnny to go next.

Johnny said:

“My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell “accountant. 

 

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives have given birth

The nurse went to the first guy and said, “Congratulations! – You are the father of twins.

“That’s strange,” the man replied

“I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

The nurse said to the second guy, “Congratulations! You are the father of triplets!”

“That’s strange,” replied the second man

“I work for 3M!”

The nurse said to the third person, “Congratulations! You are the father of quadruplets!”

“Strange,” he replied

“I work at the Four Seasons Hotel!”

The last man groaned and hit his head against the wall

“What happened?” others ask.

“I work until 7!”

A 6 year-old boy was in the market with his 4 year-old sister suddenly the boy found that his sister was lagging behind.

He stopped and looked back his sister was standing in front of a toy shop and was watching something with great interest.

The boy went back to her and asked, “Do you want something?”

The sister pointed at the doll.

The boy held her hand and like a responsible elder brother, gave that doll to her.

The sister was very very happy…

The shopkeeper was watching everything and getting amused to see the matured behavior of the boy now the boy came to the counter and asked the shopkeeper, “What is the cost of this doll, Sir?!”

The shopkeeper was a cool man and had experienced the odds of life so he asked the boy with a lot of love & affection, “Well, What can you pay?”

The boy took out all the shells that he had collected from sea shore, from his pocket and gave them to the shopkeeper.

The shopkeeper took the shells and started counting as if he were counting the currency.

Then he looked at the boy.

The boy asked him worriedly, “Is it less?”

The shopkeeper said, “No, No… These are more than the cost so I will return the remaining.”

Saying so, he kept only 4 shells with him and returned the remaining.

The boy, very happily kept those shells back in his pocket and went away with his sister.

A servant in that shop got very surprised watching all these.

He asked his master, “Sir ! You gave away such a costly doll just for 4 shells ???”

The shopkeeper said with a smile, “Well, for us these are mere shells but for that boy, these shells are very precious.”

And at this age he does not understand what money is, but when he will grow up, he definitely will.

And when he would remember that he purchased a doll with the Shells instead of Money, he will remember me and think that world is full of Good people.

It will help him develop a positive attitude and he too in turn will feel motivated to be Good.

Whatever emotion you infuse into the world, it will further spread.

If you do good, goodness will spread.

If you do bad, negativity will spread.

Realize you are a very powerful source of energy your good or bad will come back to you magnified.

Not in the ways you want it, and probably not in the ways you can understand it but it will come back.

Why Women Need a Husband?

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and complains, “I don’t want to marry. I am educated, independent, and self-sufficient. I don’t need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What do I do?” The psychiatrist replied: “You bring up an interesting point, and I’d like to share a story with you that might shed some light on this matter.”

The psychiatrist leaned back in his chair and began his tale:

Once upon a time, in a small village, there lived a wise old woman named Clara. She was known for her wisdom and the ability to provide sound advice to those who sought it. People from far and wide would come to her with their problems, knowing that Clara would help them find clarity.

One day, a young woman named Lila visited Clara. She had been struggling with the same dilemma as the woman in your story. Lila said, “Clara, I am educated and have a good job. I can take care of myself, but my parents keep pressuring me to get married. I don’t know what to do.”

Clara listened attentively, her eyes filled with empathy. She then asked Lila to take a walk with her to the nearby river.

As they walked along the riverbank, Clara bent down, picked up a small, smooth stone, and handed it to Lila. “Hold onto this stone, dear, and walk into the river.”

Lila followed Clara’s instruction and walked into the river, gripping the stone tightly. The water rushed around her, and she struggled to keep her balance, fearing that the current might sweep her away. She eventually made her way back to the shore, sopping wet.

Clara asked Lila, “What did you feel when you were in the river?”

Lila replied, “I felt scared and vulnerable. I was worried I might lose my balance and fall.”

Clara nodded and said, “Now, give me the stone.” Lila handed it to her.

Clara tossed the stone into the river, and it immediately sank to the bottom. “You see, dear,” Clara explained, “marriage is like that stone. It may seem like an extra weight in your life when you’re already standing strong on your own. But, just like that stone in the river, marriage has a way of grounding you, providing balance, and making you feel more secure.”

Lila contemplated Clara’s words as they walked back to her cottage. She realized that there was more to the decision of getting married than simply being self-sufficient. Marriage wasn’t about relying on someone else to complete her but finding a partner to share life’s journey.

She returned home and had a heartfelt conversation with her parents. She told them about her fears and doubts but also about her newfound understanding of the value of marriage. They were deeply touched by her honesty and willingness to reconsider their perspective. Together, they explored the idea of arranged marriage, which allowed her to have a say in choosing a partner while respecting her family’s traditions.

Lila eventually found a loving and supportive husband, and together, they built a life filled with joy, mutual respect, and shared dreams. Marriage brought a sense of balance to her life that she had never imagined.

The psychiatrist concluded the story and turned to the woman, who had been listening intently. “The point here is not that every woman needs a husband, but that sometimes the idea of marriage can be more about balance and companionship than just practicality. It’s a decision that should be made with thought, understanding, and the recognition that it can enhance your life in ways you might not expect.”

The woman left the psychiatrist’s office with a new perspective on marriage. She understood that her independence and education were important, but they didn’t have to preclude the possibility of finding a loving partner who could provide support, balance, and companionship in her journey through life. And if she chose not to marry, that was perfectly fine too, as long as it was her own choice, made with clarity and understanding.