A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.

She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

 A Wal-Mart associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please. "

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."

 A father was reading a magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him.

Trying to keep her busy, he tore out one page on which was printed the map of the world.

He then tore the page into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.

He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done.

But the little one came back within minutes with the perfect map.

When he asked how she could do it so quickly, she said,

“Oh… Dad, there is a man’s face on the other side of the paper… I made the face perfect to get the map right.”

She ran outside to play leaving the father surprised.

Reflection: There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world.

This story indirectly teaches a lesson whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side you will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem.

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll be a lot happier and live longer!

There was a little old lady who was suffering from a degenerative eye condition that had left her nearly blind.

She had three sons, and each wanted to prove that he loved her more than the others.

Son 1 bought her an expensive Mercedes, with a chauffeur included, thinking this would surely win her approval.

Son 2 bought her a 15-room mansion, thinking this would surely be the best that any of them could offer her.

Son 3 had to do something even better, so he decided to give her his most prized possession, a parrot that he had been training for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible.

You could name any verse, and the parrot could quote it word for word. What a gift that would be!

Well, the old lady went to the first son and said;

“Son, the car is beautiful. It has everything you could ever want on it, but I don’t like to go out anymore, and the chauffeur is a nuisance, so please return the car.”

Then she surprised her second son by saying;

“Son, the house is just gorgeous, but it’s much for me.I only live in one room, and it’s too large to clean and take care of.

I really don’t need the house, but thank you anyway.”

Finally, she went to Son 3 and said;

“Son, I just want to thank you for your most thoughtful gift. That chicken was delicious.”

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.

He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning.

“I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over.

Then, a louder knock follows.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife.

So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door and there is man standing at the door It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

“Hi there.” slurs the stranger, “Can you give me a push?”

“No, get lost, it’s half past three I was in bed.” says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says,

Dave, that wasn’t very nice of you Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again?

What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost?

“But the guy was drunk.” says the husband.

“It doesn’t matter.” says the wife.

“He needs your help.”

So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts:

“Hey, do you still want a push?”

He hears a voice cry out, “Yeah please.”

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts: “Where are you?”

And the stranger replies: “I’m over here, on your swing.”

Once while travelling, Tenali Rama found himself in the company of a group of soldiers.

They were all veterans of war and soon they got to talking about their experiences on the battlefield.

One old soldier told of the time he had single-handedly slain seven enemy soldiers.

Another gave a detailed description of the manner in which he had held an entire enemy battalion at bay. When they had finished they looked condescendingly at Rama.

“I don’t suppose you have any adventure worth telling,” said one of the grizzled warriors.

“Oh, but I have,” said Rama

“You have?!” said the soldiers.

“Yes,” said Rama. “Once while travelling I chanced upon a large tent. I entered and there, lying on a mat was the largest man I had ever seen.

I recognised him at once as a dreaded dacoit who had been terrorising that part of the country for years!”

“What did you do?” asked the soldiers, their interest now fully aroused.

“I cut off his toe and ran for dear life,” said Rama.

“His toe?” said a soldier.

“Why toe? You should have cut off his head while you had the chance!”

“Somebody had already done that,” said Rama, grinning.

Little Johnny is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say.

His Mum says “What does a duck say, Johnny?”

He says “Quack quack Mummy.”

His Mum says “Very good Johnny, that’s right.”

She says “What does a dog say?”

He says “Woof woof Mummy.”

She says “Very good.”

She says “What does a cat say?”

He says “Meow meow Mummy.”

She says “Yes that’s right.”

Little Johnny says “Let Daddy have a go.”

His dad says “OK Johnny, what does a cow say?”

The little Johnny looks confused and his Dad says, “Come on Johnny you know what a cow says.”

Little Johnny says “Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you were talking to Uncle John about, that said you couldn’t go to the Stag show with him?”

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

The first kid says, “A circumcision.”

“Whoa!” the second kid replies.

“Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year.”