A man, during his night prays, asks God:

“Oh, Lord… Why you’ve made women so beautiful?”

God replies: “So you can love them, my child.”

“Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?”

“So that they can love you back, my child…!”

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.  After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t  miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could  find a place to turnaround, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grumpy old man.

He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive

The more he chided her, the more agitated he became.  He just wouldn’t let up for a single minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.  As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.

On a hot summer day, A little boy and his mother were inside a lake house.

Little boy decided to go for a swim in lake behind his house.

Boy was really excited to go into lake and swim in cool lake so he just ran out.

Boy went into lake and swam far without realizing that he swan right into middle of that lake.

Boy's mother looked out of window and saw an alligator approaching toward his son.

As she saw both of them getting closer to each other, she ran toward little boy and yelled as loud as she could.

She shouted about alligator approaching him and asked him to swim back toward house.

Hearing voice of his mother, boy got alarmed and made U-turn to swim towards his mother but it was too late.

Just as mother reached her little boy and grabbed his arm, at same moment alligator snatched on his legs.

That began a tug war between two

Alligator was too strong but mother was too passionate to let her son go.

At same time, a farmer happen to pass by and heard scream of little boy and his mother.

Farmer raced toward lake and took his aim at alligator and shot him.

Remarkable, after getting treated for weeks in hospital boy survived.

A newspaper reporter came to interview boy after incident and asked him about the incident.

Boy lifted his pants from legs which was extremely scarred by the vicious attack of animal.

But then, with pride he said to reporters, “Look at my arms

I have great scars on my arms too.”

Newspaper reporter, “Why these scars are great??”

Boy replied, “I have these scars on arm because my mom wouldn't let go..”

Moral: Similarly in our Life we have Scars from painful past

Sometimes, we foolishly made into difficult situations and we forget that enemy is waiting.

That's when Tug of war begin Between Life and God

That's why Some wounds we have because God wouldn't let go

We should be very Grateful to God for being there with us.

Jack gets pulled over for speeding.

As the cop approaches the car, Jack requests permission to step out of his car and the cop agrees.

The cop then says, “Sir, I’m obliged to ask you why you were speeding?”

“You see that woman sitting in the passenger seat?” says Jack. “That’s my wife. And the stern, miserable-looking woman in the rear seat, that’s my mother-in-law.”

“Right,” says the cop. “but how does that justify speeding?”

“My mother-in-law’s been living with us for three months now,” Jack continues. “This morning my wife and her mother had a terrible fight and my mother-in-law insisted I take her home. I’m trying to get her there before they have a chance to make up and she says she wants to return home with us.”

The cop smiles benevolently at Jack and says, “Get back in your car sir and I will give you a police escort under blue lights and the siren and we’ll get her home as quickly as possible.”

A blonde is going door to door trying to find some paying work

She knocks on one door and an older man opens it up.

“Hey mister, do you have any odd jobs I could do for cash?”

He looks her up and down and surmises that she’s an idiot whom he can take advantage of.

“I’ll give you ten dollars if you paint my porch.

There’s paint, brushes, ladders and everything you’ll need next to the car in the garage.”

“Sure, sounds great!”

The man closes the door, chuckling at what a great deal he’s just brokered.

Half an hour later, there’s another knock at the door.

He opens it up and there’s the blonde.

“You’re finished already?” he asked her incredulously.”Yeah!

It isn’t really that big!

But I think you should know, that’s not a porch. It’s a Jaguar!”

At a winery, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position.

The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.

The drunk tried it and said, “It’s a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.

Low grade, but acceptable.”

“That’s correct”, said the boss. Another glass… “This is a Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees.

Requires three more years for finest results.”

“Correct.” A third glass… “It’s a Pinot Blanc Champagne, high grade and exclusive,” the drunk said calmly.

The director was astonished.

He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something.

She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.

The alcoholic tried it.

“It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if I don’t get the job I’ll name the father.”

These three drunk guys decide to go to the joy house.

The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn the lights out.

The guys are so drunk the won’t know the difference.

30 minutes later the fellas are back out on the street.

The first drunk says “my girl was passed out. She never made a peep.”

The second drunk shouts, “my was dead.

She never moved a muscle!

“The third drunk leans in and whispers conspiratorially,

“mine was ugly”

“ugly?” The other two in unison.

“Yep!

I bite mine on the back and she farted in my face and flew out the window!”

At an airline ticket counter, all of the ticket agents were doing their best to politely process each passenger as quickly as they could.

A man at the end of the passenger line was impatient and frustrated at having to wait so long in the slow-moving line.

He finally decided to march up to the counter to demand that he be given his boarding pass.

The ticket agent turned, and said, “Sir, as you can see, there are many passengers ahead of you we are doing our best to process the passengers as fast as we can I’m afraid you’ll have to get back in line.”

Outraged and red in the face, the man yelled at the ticket agent, “Do you know who I am??!!”

The ticket agent turned, picked up the public address system microphone and said calmly, “There is a man at the ticket counter, who does not know who he is anyone who may be able to identify this man is asked to please step forward and identify him Thank you.”