Two boys go into a forest and walk around

Suddenly they see a undressed women, then one of the boys run away.

The other chases after him. The boy asked “Why did u run away?”

The other said “My mom told me if i saw a undressed women i’d turn to stone,

i already felt something getting getting hard.

 

A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island.

The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger.

The three start to build a watchtower. The stranger offers to take first watch.

While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells,

“Hey! No naughty things on the beach! Get back to work!”

The husband yells back, “We’re not doing any naughty things!”

Later, the stranger yells out to them again. Again, the husband yells back and corrects him.

This happens several times during the stranger’s shift.

Finally, the husband’s takes his shift in the watch tower.

His wife and the good-looking stranger make passionate love on the beach.

The husband on watch exclaims, “Wow, it really does look like naughty from up here!”

Once upon a time, in a bustling hospital, a new nurse named Jenny joined the staff. Jenny was enthusiastic, friendly, and always ready to lend a helping hand. However, she had a peculiar habit that caught the attention of her colleagues.

Every day, without fail, Jenny would bring a small rubber chicken to work and place it on the nurse’s station. Curiosity piqued, the other nurses couldn’t help but wonder about the significance of this quirky tradition.

One day, Nurse Johnson, the veteran of the team, couldn’t contain her curiosity any longer. She approached Jenny and asked, “Why do you bring that rubber chicken to work every day? Is it some kind of good luck charm or a secret remedy for healing?”

Jenny grinned and said, “Oh, it’s my nursing assistant, Clucky! Clucky helps me keep the morale high among the patients, and I’ve noticed a significant improvement in their spirits since I started bringing him to work.”

Nurse Johnson raised an eyebrow, intrigued but still a bit skeptical. “How exactly does a rubber chicken boost morale?”

Jenny explained, “Well, you see, when a patient is feeling down or stressed, I bring Clucky into the room. I do a little dance with Clucky, make funny chicken noises, and soon enough, everyone, including the patient, is laughing. Laughter is the best medicine, right?”

Nurse Johnson chuckled, appreciating Jenny’s creative approach. “I suppose if it works, it works! Keep spreading those laughs, Nurse Jenny.”

As time went on, Jenny’s reputation for bringing joy to the hospital spread. Even the grumpiest patients looked forward to Clucky’s visits, and the entire hospital staff began to embrace the unconventional therapy.

One day, the hospital director called a meeting to discuss the positive changes in the hospital’s atmosphere. Jenny, with Clucky perched on her shoulder, stood up and proudly shared her secret to success.

The hospital director, initially skeptical, couldn’t help but smile at the impact Jenny and Clucky had made. “Well, it looks like we’ve found the cure for the common frown! From now on, Clucky is officially our hospital mascot!”

And so, the hospital thrived with laughter and joy, all thanks to Nurse Jenny and her trusty rubber chicken sidekick. The moral of the story? Sometimes, all it takes is a little silliness to make a big difference in people’s lives.

A manager,  his secretary and a sales representative are walking to lunch when suddenly the wind blows a balloon shape kettle cup down  to their end. 

They caress it gently and in the twinkling of an eye a Genie splurge.

The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you an opportunity to say whatever you wish, but just one wish.’

‘Me first! Me first!’ says the secretary ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’ Puff! She’s gone.

 ‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales representative. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’ Puff!  she’s gone.

 ‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office immediately after my  lunch’

 

A Man and His Wife Are at a Restaurant and the Husband Keeps Staring at an Old Drunken Lady Swigging Her Gin at a Nearby Table.

His Wife Asks, “Do You Know Her?”

“Yes,” Sighs the Husband.

“She’s My Ex-wife.

She Took to Drinking Right after We Divorced Seven Years Ago, and I Hear She Hasn’t Been Sober Since.”

“My God!” Says the Wife.

“Who Would Think a Person Could Go on Celebrating That Long?”

A man shops for groceries with his wife.

The man sees a case of beer on one of the shelves and puts it in the cart.

“What are you doing?” asks his wife.

“They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans.” he responds.

“Well, put it back. We can’t afford those.”

Without another word, the man obeys his wife and puts the case back on the shelf.

In the next aisle over, the wife sees a bottle of facial cream and puts it in the cart.

“What are you doing?” the man asks.

“It’s my face cream and it’s on sale for $20. It makes me look beautiful.” she replies.

“So does a 24 pack of beer, and it’s half the price!”

Ethel checked into a Motel on her 65th Birthday, she was lonely, a little depressed at her advancing age so decided to risk an adventure.

She thought, “I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages.

She looked through the phone book, found a full-page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony, a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo.

He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six-pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a dime off his well-oiled buns.

She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know.

I’ll give him a call.

“Good evening, ma’am, how may I help you?”

Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, so she rushed right in,

“I hear you give a great massage. I’d like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is s*x. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. We’ll go at it all night … tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I’m ready! Now how does that sound?”

He said, “That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.”

A little old lady tried to phone her local bank but was put through instead to the banks call center.

“Is that the High Street branch?” she asked.

“No madam,” replied the voice at the other end.

“It is now company policy to deal with telephone calls centrally.”

“Well I really need to speak to the branch,” said the old lady.

“Madam, if you just let me know your query, I’m sure I can help you.”

“I don’t think you can, young man. I need to speak to the branch.”

The call center operator was adamant.

“There’s nothing that the branch can help you with that can’t be dealt with by me.”

“Very well then,” sighed the old lady.

“Can you just check on the counter? Did I leave my gloves behind when I came in this morning?”