Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and get lost.

They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives.

The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him.

As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation.

He asks the first guy what his job was.

“I’m an employee at the shooting range,” he replies.

“Then we’ll shoot your dick off!” the prince says.

“I’m a fireman,” the second guy says.

“Then we’ll burn your cock off!” says the prince.

The third guy smiles and says, “I’m a lollipop salesman.”

A hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, “May I help you sir?

The man says, “Yes, I’m in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately.

I’m having an argument with my wife and she says she’s going to jump out of the window.”

The desk clerk says, “I’m sorry sir, but that’s a personal matter.”

The man replies, “Listen, you idiot.

The window won’t open.. and that’s clearly a maintenance issue.

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

“But officer.” the man began, “I can explain”.

“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back…”

“But officer, I just wanted to say….”

“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

Two best friends, Lisa and Sarah, decided to meet up for their weekly girls’ night out. Over dinner at their favorite restaurant, they couldn’t help but start chatting about their husbands.

Lisa, sipping on her drink, said, “You won’t believe what happened last night. My husband tried to fix the leaky faucet in the bathroom.”

Sarah raised an eyebrow, “Oh really? How did that go?”

Lisa sighed, “Well, let’s just say our bathroom now has a new water feature. It’s like a mini waterfall right next to the toilet.”

Sarah burst into laughter, “A waterfall? That’s impressive! My husband, on the other hand, decided to surprise me with breakfast in bed yesterday.”

Lisa grinned, “That sounds sweet! What did he make?”

Sarah rolled her eyes, “He attempted pancakes. But I swear, they were so thick and uneven; I think one of them could qualify as a structural support beam.”

Lisa chuckled, “At least he tried. My husband once tried to surprise me with a romantic dinner. He lit candles all over the house, but forgot about the curtains. We almost had a bonfire.”

Sarah laughed so hard that she snorted, drawing the attention of nearby diners. “Men and their attempts at romance! Remember the time my husband tried to assemble that new furniture we bought?”

Lisa smirked, “Ah, the infamous furniture assembly challenge. How did that turn out?”

Sarah shook her head, “Let’s just say that the instructions were like a foreign language to him. He ended up with extra screws, a wobbly table, and a look of defeat.”

They both burst into laughter, sharing stories about the quirks and mishaps of their husbands. As the night went on, their anecdotes grew wilder, and the laughter echoed through the restaurant. Little did they know that their husbands had formed a secret society to exchange stories about their wives’ adventures in DIY and culinary experiments.

So, in the end, while Lisa and Sarah had their fair share of husband-induced chaos, it turned out the husbands had their own support group for surviving the whirlwind that was marriage. After all, laughter is the best recipe for a long and happy union, no matter how many waterfalls or pancake towers it involves.

Three married men are sitting in a pool club and arguing over who has the worst marriage.

One of the men says, “I have it the worst.

My prudish wife won’t sleep with me more than once a month!.

She refuses!” The other men shake their heads.

One of them asks, “what did you do about it?”

The man says “I slept with that horny blonde over there by the pool table.

Unlike my wife, she’ll do anything.” The men laugh.

The second man says, “You think that’s bad?

My uptight wife won’t even sleep with me once a year!”

The other men shake their heads and one of them asks, “so, what did you do about it?”

The man says “I got my rocks off with that same slutty blonde over there by the pool table.

She’ll literally do any guy.”

The men laugh, then the third man says,

“That too bad for you guys, but honestly,

I definitely have it the worst.”

The men say, “what’s the problem with your wife?”

The man says, “Well for one, she’s always down here playing pool.

A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her:

After following along for a while, turns to her and asks.

“Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?”

“NO!” Says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks.

“Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back.”

“NO!” Says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.

The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says.

“Okay kid, my last offer! I’ll give you 20 Bucks and a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride.”

Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out.

“Look, Dad, you’re the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley – YOU RIDE IT.”

Two little boys were arguing.

“My father is better than your father!”

“No he’s not!”

“My brother is better than your brother!”

“No he’s not!”

“My mother is better than your mother!”

The second boy paused.

“Well I guess you’ve got me there. My father says the same thing.”

A rich dude and his wife were having dinner at a fancy joint.

This absolutely stunning young woman comes over to the table,

gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at him: “Who the hell was that ?

“Oh”, replies the husband casually, “She’s my mistress.”

“Why you son of a bitch, that’s the last straw” says the wife.

“I’m done with you, I want a divorce!”

“I can understand that,” he sez, “but remember,

divorce means no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados,

no more summers in Tuscany, no more new Jaguars in the garage at Christmas and no more yacht club. ….

But, the decision is yours, my dear.”

At that moment, George, a friend of husband, shows up at the same restaurant with a gorgeous blonde babe on his arm.

“Who’s that woman with George?” demands the wife.

“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.

“Ours is prettier”, she replies.