A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender can’t help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange.

The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, “You know, I’m not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?”

The big guy nods slowly. He’s obviously fielded this question many times. “One day,” he begins, “I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream.”

“No shit?” says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued.

“Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.”

“Keep going!”

I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.

She said, “You now have three wishes.”

I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, “I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger.”

She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!

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A woman hasn’t made love with her husband in years, so he takes her to the doctor. The doctor takes her into the exam room, but he determines that she’s healthy and that there is nothing physically wrong with her. The doctor, recognizing the sensitive nature of the situation, suggests that the couple may benefit from relationship counseling. He provides them with the contact information for a reputable therapist in the area.Feeling a mix of relief and concern, the woman and her husband decide to give counseling a try. They make an appointment and begin the process of exploring their relationship under the guidance of the therapist, Dr. Reynolds.

In the sessions that follow, the couple opens up about the various challenges they’ve faced over the years. Dr. Reynolds helps them navigate through communication issues, unspoken resentments, and the stressors that have contributed to the emotional distance between them. It becomes apparent that their lack of intimacy is a symptom of deeper underlying issues within their marriage.

As they delve into their past, the couple uncovers unresolved conflicts and unmet needs. Dr. Reynolds encourages them to express their feelings openly, fostering an environment of trust and understanding. Slowly, the couple starts to rebuild their emotional connection.

Over the course of several months, the woman and her husband work on rebuilding their relationship both inside and outside the bedroom. Dr. Reynolds equips them with tools to improve communication, deepen emotional intimacy, and rekindle the romance that had faded over the years.

Through the therapeutic process, the couple learns to appreciate each other’s perspectives and find common ground. They rediscover the reasons they fell in love in the first place, allowing them to reignite the spark that had been dimmed by life’s challenges.

Eventually, the woman and her husband find themselves in a much healthier and more fulfilling relationship. Their renewed emotional connection naturally leads to a rekindling of physical intimacy...

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A Polish man had married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada for a year or so and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on well. 

One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked if he could arrange for a divorce for him….”very quick!!!”  The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked these questions:

Lawyer;  “Have you any grounds?!”

Polish man;  “An acre and a half and a nice 3 bedroom house!!”

Lawyer; “No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?!”

Polish man;  “It is made of concrete, bricks and mortar!!”

Lawyer;  “Does either of you have a real grudge?!”

Polish man;  “No, we have a carport…

don't need a grudge!!”

Lawyer;  “I mean, what are your relations like?!”

Polish man;  “All my relations live in Poland!!”

Lawyer;  “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?!”

Polish man;  “Yes…

we have hi-fidelity stereo set and DVD player with 6.1 surround sound!!”

Lawyer;  “No, I mean does your wife beat you up?!”

Polish man;  “No, I'm always up before her!!”

Lawyer;  “why do you want this divorce?!”

Polish man;  “She is going to kill me!!!!”

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Ted comes home blackout drunk, as he does most nights.

With his eyes barely open, he misses his friend Carl in bed with his wife.

He lies down and instantly passes out.

Carl panics and tries to run but the wife stops him and whispers:

“Don’t go, this moron is so drunk he won’t even feel me plucking a hair on his bum.”

The wife does exactly that and the husband doesn’t move.

Carl, now reassured, proceeds with the job.

Half an hour later Ted moves a bit, and Carl is just about to freak out, the wife stops him and plucks another hair from his bum.

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A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a large-size box of laundry detergent.

The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.

“Nope, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to wash my dog.”

“You shouldn’t use this to wash your dog. It’s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he’ll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him,” said the grocer.

But the boy was not to be stopped; he carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer tried to talk him out of washing his dog.

About a week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.

“Oh, he died,” the boy said.

The grocer, trying not to be an “I-told-you-so” said he was sorry the dog died, but added...

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As a woman passes her daughter’s closed bedroom door she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from inside.

Opening the door, she saw her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: ‘what in the world are you doing?’

The daughter replied: ‘Mum, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I’ll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.’

The next day, the girl’s father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door.

Upon entering the room, he saw his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

He asked her what she was doing,

The daughter said: ‘Dad I’m thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I’ll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.’

A couple of days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room.

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A little old lady was walking her dog around a lake on a cold winter morning and the lake was still frozen.

All of a sudden, her little dog spotted a duck that was walking on the ice and ran out onto the frozen lake to try and catch it.

The dog ended up falling through the thin ice, fell into the freezing water and the little old lady started to scream for help.

“Help, help, my dog has fallen into the lake”, she cried out in a state of hysteria.

Watching all this commotion was a German student, who had been jogging around the park.

He sprinted over to the lady and asked, “Vot is zee matter viv your dog, can I za help?”

“Oh yes please,” the old lady said.

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A group of tourists was visiting a crocodile farm and they were in a floating structure in the middle of a crocodile lake.

The owner of the farm shouted:

“Whoever jumps into the water and swims to shore, will receive 10 million dollars.”

The silence was deafening.

Suddenly, a man jumped into the water.

He was chased by crocodiles, but with great luck he was unharmed.

The owner announced:

“We have a winner!”

After receiving their reward, the man and his wife returned to the hotel room.

The man tells his wife:

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